She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize