i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize