actually, I'm a sock model
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
