hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
