Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
