adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
