Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
