god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
