Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
