Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We need to rekindle our bromance
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
