remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
