Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
