i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
