He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
