What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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