I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
