just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
