I want to make a zoo with you.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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