just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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