you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize