Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
we should paint friendship bongs
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
