We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
