a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
