How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
