dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
