I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
you never un-have a 4some
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize