Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
