Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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