it wasn't lemon gatorade
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
