I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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