I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
