Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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