Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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