After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
