chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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