wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Someone shattered a urinal.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
