I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
