Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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