some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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