i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
