By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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