guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
