I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
