i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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