dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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