just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
