I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
