her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
