nut hugger
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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