Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We had sex on a dog bed..
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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