I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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