It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
