Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
