is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
