Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
