Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
