perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
